


Thanks For The Memories

by RiverOfFandoms



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Flashback, Memories, panic attack tw, self harm tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 01:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5072143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverOfFandoms/pseuds/RiverOfFandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Thomas’ first day in the glade and he asks why there aren’t any girls and Newt explains that there was one called Y/N but she died in the maze. Newt experiences flashbacks, retelling some of their memories together, thus leading to his explanation of her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanks For The Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Self harm mention and descriptive panic attack, please do not read if either or both of these make you feel uncomfortable and/or trigger anything unwanted for you.

Newt wakes up that day, but only barely. As soon as his eyes flutter open, his mind comes back to the rest of the world around him; he remembers. He remembers her, her beautiful smile and hair. The way the corners of her eyes would crinkle when she smiled. The amount of happiness she had, which vouched for the both of them. And maybe, these memories only ever depresses Newt but he couldn't ever let them go. Not since these were the only memories he actually has.

What he would give to spend just one more day with Y/N...

"Newt!" Minho calls, pulling him from his thoughts. "Did you hear me? I said we've got another Greenie."

Newt listens to the sound of the alarm just as it fades with Minho's voice.  _Another one_ , Newt thought,  _poor bugger._

Newt steadily gets out of bed and dresses himself. Once he is up and out, he races towards the Box. Gladers are piled up against the edges, eager to see the Greenie. Newt only feels sympathy for him. In a few seconds, the Box doors slide open, revealing the unfortunate shank. He has short, brown cropped hair and glowing, curious blue eyes that seem to illuminate the inside of the Box. Gally pulls him from the Box, and the boy stumbles.

"What's your name?" Minho questions.

"Thomas... Thomas..." Thomas gulps down oxygen as he takes in his surroundings. Once his eyes land on the Maze Walls, his breath hitches and something closely related to curiosity flashes across his eyes. "What... Where am I?"

Newt pipes up, "Who bloody knows..."

Alby shakes his head, "What this shank means is... well –we're not entirely sure. But we call it the Glade."

"The Glade..." Thomas bites the inside of his lip as he thinks, "Why can't I remember anything?"

"All normal, none of us Gladers remember anything." Newt says, avoiding eye contact with the stranger.

"And the... the Walls?" Thomas gestures to the big, grey Walls that keep them in like mice.

"Always been here." Alby states firmly, and quickly changes the subject. "Mind if I leave the Greenie with you? I have to attend to some other business, you can show him around or something."

Newt nods, he hasn't done this since... since Y/N.

"Greenie?"

Newt sighs,  _this boy ask lots of questions_. "A term for the new boys who come into the Glade."

Newt shows Thomas around the Glade, careful not to get too frustrated with the endless amount of questions that spew from Thomas' mouth. Newt's tour isn't very detailed, he keeps it simple and straight forward as the memories from last time fill his brain. Pull at his heart.

"So... how come there are no girls?"

Thomas' question is like a stab to Newt's heart. He stops breathing, his eyes grow dull, almost colorless. The air around him grows dense as he tries to suck in oxygen, his chest heaves. He stumbles as his world spins, and he grabs onto Thomas for support. "I..." His voice comes out panicky.

"Whoa, you okay?"

Newt straightens himself up and tries to breathe evenly as he tells himself to slim it. But his chest only tightens further, the panic doesn't leave. "Sorry... I can't do this." He walks away from the Greenie, "I'm done." He whispers.

"Hey!" A hand rests on his shoulder causing Newt to stop abruptly.

_"Don't walk away from me!" Y/N shouted._

_"I'm not walking, I'm limping." Newt growled back as he strode towards the Homestead. But suddenly, he feels a hand on his shoulder._

_"Hey!" She spun him around, "Newt-_

"Newt?" Thomas asks, concern in his voice. "You alright?" There's a pause before he goes on to say more, "I didn't mean to... whatever I said, I'm really sorry-

_"Newt! I'm sorry. I know what I said sounded idiotic but... I didn't mean it, not like that. Not how you thought it was!"_

Her voice rings through his ears, clear as day. He can't take this anymore... he thought it was over... he thought she only haunted him in his dreams but now, in the middle of the day? It's absurd. "Slim it..." He whispers.

_"Slim it... I don't care what you have to say. I can't believe you, Y/N!" Newts' own voice shouted back at her._

"SLIM IT!" Newt brings his hands to his ears, shuts his eyes and drops to the floor in a crouch. "I can't take it anymore... I can't... Just leave me alone!"

 _"Leave me alone!"_ another flash back.  _"Just go away!"_

Newt opens his eyes, he sees her. He sees her shuck face and his heart aches, aches for her touch, for her to be in his arms again. But it's not her, not really. The image of her fizzles away and the Greenie comes back into vision, worry in his eyes. "Tell me what's happening! Should I go get someone? What's wrong?"

The Greenie vanishes again, Y/N comes back. Her eyes filled with worry. Her eyebrows frown in confusion,  _"Newt! What are you doing?"_ She takes Newt's arms into hers, once bloodied and scarred, but he doesn't feel it. Then he feels tears on his face.  _"Should I go get someone...?"_ Her voice continues, _"Newt, stay here, I'm going to get Alby. Don't you dare do anything, you hear me!?"_

"Stop...." Newt whimpers... "Please."

Finally, Y/N leaves.

"Newt!" Thomas shouts. "What..."

"Y/N." Newt whispers... "Her name was Y/N."

Thomas sits down in front of Newt, "And she's..."

"She bloody died in the Maze... we never found her body. She's gone, but she hasn't left me."

"I'm sorry... you know, for asking."

Newt shakes his head, "It's okay, you didn't know."

Thomas helps Newt off the ground, "I would say something... inspirational but I've never been through this. Or... I don't remember it. But I don't want to make up some bullshit. It hurts, I can see that, but you will get through it. This is a hill that you need to climb, and you will climb it."

"I... thank you, Thomas." Newt gives him a weak smile.

They both walk back towards the Homestead and Newt catches something off in the distant. It's Y/N, standing by one of the entrances to the Maze. She's smiling at Newt, a smile that makes hearts fly. She gives him a nod before waving a small goodbye, and then, walks into the Maze. His heart races, he doesn't want her to leave. Just before he's about to sprint to entrance... he stops himself.

Maybe he's already climbed the hill. Maybe it's just time to let it go.

So he lets her go.

 


End file.
